Bob Newhart Quotes

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he goes past his stop on Sheridan Road, he gets off in Evanston, where the El is on the ground, and then he walks back 55 blocks to his apartment. Now, would you want to have that man as a psychologist? A man who misses his stop every day?

I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board the plane. Apparently I'm not alone because I've never been in an empty airport bar. I don't care what time you get there. Even at 8:00 a.m. you have to fight your way to the bar. At that hour, everyone drinks Bloody Marys so no one can tell it's booze- at least until they fall off their chair.

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.