David Letterman Quotes

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.