Best Quotes by Dorothy Parker (Top 10)
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Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone
Dorothy Parker
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this —One of you is lying.
Dorothy Parker
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Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Dorothy Parker
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I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
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I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
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I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
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Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die: Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
Dorothy Parker
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Dorothy Parker
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Dorothy Parker
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Dorothy Parker
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
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Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
Dorothy Parker
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
Dorothy Parker
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
Dorothy Parker
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
Dorothy Parker
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Dorothy Parker
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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Dorothy Parker
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Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
Dorothy Parker
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I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.
Dorothy Parker
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Dorothy Parker
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
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Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
Dorothy Parker
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Dorothy Parker
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
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Women and elephants never forget.
Dorothy Parker
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
Dorothy Parker
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
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I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
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If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Dorothy Parker
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
Dorothy Parker
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Dorothy Parker
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Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Dorothy Parker
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
Dorothy Parker
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Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.
Dorothy Parker
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"Cheque enclosed" are the two most beautiful words in the English language
Dorothy Parker
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.
Dorothy Parker
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Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
Dorothy Parker
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Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
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Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain. And bolts the door against her heart, out wailing in the rain.
Dorothy Parker
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It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
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Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
Dorothy Parker
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The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
Dorothy Parker
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Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much.
Dorothy Parker
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The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!
Dorothy Parker
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
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Trapped like a trap in a trap
Dorothy Parker
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Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.
Dorothy Parker
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Dorothy Parker
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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Dorothy Parker
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
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Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
Dorothy Parker
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I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
Dorothy Parker
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The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
Dorothy Parker
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There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorothy Parker
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Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
Dorothy Parker
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Lips that taste of tears, they say/ Are the best for kissing.
Dorothy Parker
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
Dorothy Parker
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I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
Dorothy Parker
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He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
Dorothy Parker
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Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorothy Parker
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey; The horse doth with the horseman away.
Dorothy Parker
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Work is the province of cattle.
Dorothy Parker
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Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.
Dorothy Parker
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The affair between Margot Asquinth and Margot Asquinth will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
Dorothy Parker
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
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Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
Dorothy Parker
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
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They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
Dorothy Parker