Best Quotes by Eddie Izzard (Top 10)

  1. So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
  2. If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
  3. If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
  4. Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.
  5. I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
  6. Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
  7. They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.
  8. You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.
  9. Never put a sock in a toaster.
  10. So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

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