Authors
George Burns Quotes
Best Quotes by George Burns (Top 10)
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns -
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns -
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns -
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns -
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
George Burns
More George Burns Quotes
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns -
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns -
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns -
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible
George Burns -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
George Burns -
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns -
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns -
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns -
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
George Burns