Best Quotes by George Carlin (Top 10)

  1. The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
  2. Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
  3. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
  4. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
  5. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
  6. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  7. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
  8. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  9. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  10. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

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