Best Quotes by Joe E. Lewis (Top 10)
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You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
Joe E. Lewis
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They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
Joe E. Lewis
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I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
Joe E. Lewis
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It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
Joe E. Lewis
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I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
Joe E. Lewis
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I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
Joe E. Lewis
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I always wake up at the crack of ice.
Joe E. Lewis
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Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Joe E. Lewis
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I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
Joe E. Lewis
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I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis