Best Quotes by Joe E. Lewis (Top 10)

  1. You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
  2. They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
  3. I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
  4. It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
  5. I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
  6. I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
  7. I always wake up at the crack of ice.
  8. Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
  9. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
  10. I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

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