Best Quotes by Paula Poundstone (Top 10)

  1. Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas
  2. The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
  3. It's funny that we think of libraries as quiet demure places where we are shushed by dusty, bun-balancing, bespectacled women. The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community. Librarians have stood up to the Patriot Act, sat down with noisy toddlers and reached out to illiterate adults. Libraries can never be shushed.
  4. The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
  5. It is my wish to die of unique causes, perhaps in a high-speed tricycle crash, a bizarre stapling incient, or as a result of inadvertently sucking my brains out through my ear while trying to untwist the vacuum hose.
  6. I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
  7. I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.
  8. My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
  9. The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done.
  10. Can you remember when you didn't want to sleep? Isn't it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

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