Best Quotes by Rita Rudner (Top 10)

  1. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  2. When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
  3. Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
  4. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen
  5. Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
  6. I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
  7. How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
  8. Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
  9. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
  10. Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

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