Best Quotes by Robert Benchley (Top 10)
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley
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It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
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The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
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Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Robert Benchley
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Benchley
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley
More Robert Benchley Quotes
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Robert Benchley
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England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.
Robert Benchley
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A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
Robert Benchley
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Robert Benchley
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley
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I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Robert Benchley
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
Robert Benchley
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley