Best Quotes by Steven Wright (Top 10)

  1. Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
  2. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
  3. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
  4. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
  5. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  6. The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?
  7. If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
  8. When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing.
  9. I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
  10. What's another word for Thesaurus?

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