Beer Quotes

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria."

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach.

Beer is proof that God wants us to be happy

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.

I'm an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.

There are those who love to get dirty and fix things. They drink coffee at dawn, beer after work. And those who stay clean, just appreciate things. At breakfast they have milk and juice at night. There are those who do both, they drink tea.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand.

Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

If I have a near-beer, I'm near beer. And if I'm near beer, I'm close to tequila. And if I'm close to tequila, I'm adjacent to cocaine."

He was a wise man who invented beer.

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

I'm gaining weight the right way: I'm drinking beer.

You can cover a great deal of country in books.

There is more similarity in the marketing challenge of selling a precious painting by Degas and a frosted mug of root beer than you ever thought possible.

It is a great feeling to know that from a window I can go to books to cans of beer to past loves. And from these gather enough dream to sneak out a back door.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

Their marketing strategy had to be changed to the young people. That's who buys the beer.

My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer.

the lost women I need to know their names those women I would have walked with, jauntily the way men go in groups swinging their arms, and the ones those sweating women whom I would have joined After a hard game to chew the fat what would we have called each other laughing joking into our beer? where are my gangs, my teams, my mislaid sisters? all the women who could have known me, where in the world are their names?

I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.

Religions change; beer and wine remain.

The people are immensely likable— cheerful, extrovert, quick-witted, and unfailingly obliging. Their cities are safe and clean and nearly always built on water. They have a society that is prosperous, well ordered, and instinctively egalitarian. The food is excellent. The beer is cold. The sun nearly always shines. There is coffee on every corner. Life doesn't get much better than this.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

Yes, sir. I'm a real Southern boy. I got a red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

I'd like to have a beer-holder on my guitar like they have on boats.

Raise up your glasses against evil forces; Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.

I like my whisky old and my women young.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.

Oh,Elizabeth, your justice would freeze beer.

We didn't have a garage to rehearse in. We had to aggravate the folks in the house. But I got a chance to play in a beer joint, and that's how it started.

I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.

Branson ate his salad, and left the rest of his fish untouched, while Grace tucked into his steak and kidney pudding with relish. 'I read a while ago,' he told Branson, 'that the French drink more red wine than the English but live longer. The Japanese eat more fish than the English but drink less wine and live longer. The Germans eat more red meat than the English, and drink more beer and they live longer too. You know the moral of this story? 'No' 'It's not what you eat or drink - it's speaking English that kills you.

If you guys are going to be throwing beer bottles at us, at least make sure they're full.

The Christian religion, then, is not an affair of preaching, or prating, or ranting, but of taking care of the bodies as well as the souls of people; not an affair of belief and of faith and of professions, but an affair of doing good, and especially to those who are in want; not an affair of fire and brimstone, but an affair of bacon and bread, beer and a bed.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.

A real man would never cry in public unless he was watching a movie in which a heroic dog died to save its master.Or if Heidi klum unbuttoned her blouse. Or he accidently dropped a full case of beer.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

For it was Saturday night, the best and bingiest glad-time of the week, one of the fifty-two holidays in the slow-turning Big Wheel of the year, a violent preamble to a prostrate Sabbath. Piled up passions were exploded on Saturday night, and the effect of a week's monotonous graft in the factory was swilled out of your system in a burst of goodwill. You followed the motto of 'be drunk and be happy,' kept your crafty arms around female waists, and felt the beer going beneficially down into the elastic capacity of your guts.

Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer.

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

Books should confuse. Literature abhors the typical. Literature flows to the particular, the mundane, the greasiness of paper, the taste of warm beer, the smell of onion or quince. Auden has a line: "Ports have names they call the sea." Just so will literature describe life familiarly, regionally, in terms life is accustomed to use — high or low matters not. Literature cannot by this impulse betray the grandeur of its subject — there is only one subject: What it feels like to be alive. Nothing is irrelevant. Nothing is typical.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Marijuana is like Coors beer. If you could buy the damn stuff at a Georgia filling station, youd decide you wouldnt want it.

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

You know, nobody eats in England. Three or four pints of English beer a night fills you. I can't say I'm very impressed with the food in America. it's all sort of bland. Like turkey sandwiches.

O.K." "Gee I'm glad." "Me too. I'm so sick of hot dogs and beer and apple pie with cheese on the side I could heave it all in the river." "You'll love it, Frank. We'll get a place up in the mountains, where it's cool, and then, after I get my act ready, we can go all over the world with it. Go as we please, do as we please, and have plenty of money to spend. Have you got a little bit of gypsy in you?" "Gypsy? I had rings in my ears when I was born.

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

You can do anything with beer that you can do with wine. Beer is great for basting or marinating meat and fish.

I would rather be having a burger and beers with my mates but I can't do that when I know I've got to dance.

Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.

I drink so the others become interesting.

I have fed purely upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale.

Here with my beer I sit, while golden moments flit: alas! They pass unheeded by: and as they fly, I, being dry, sit idly sipping here, my beer.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

To give one can of beer to a thousand people is not nearly as much fun as to give 1,000 cans of beer to one guy. You give a thousand people a can of beer and each of them will drink it, smack his lips and go back to watching the game. You give 1,000 cans to one guy, and there is always the outside possibility that 50,000 people will talk about it.

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I meditate and put on a rubber tire with three bottles of beer. Most of the time I just sit picking my nose and thinking.

Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!

But leave me to my beer! Gold is dross, love is loss, so if I gulp my sorrows down, or see them drown in foamy draughts of old nut-brown, then I do wear the crown, without the cross!

I had this beer brewed just for me. I think its the best I ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot. I think you'll like it too.

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

When I get a very generous introduction like that I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the other hand I'm Irish and the Irish are very emotionally moved. My mother is Irish and she cries during beer commercials.

I simply went down there to catch up with an old mate of mine, who owns the place. He's the one who wrote the book on the place, but no, no movie, just a beer.

The government will fall that raises the price of beer.

Beer is God's way of telling us that he loves us and wants us to be happy.

Playboy isn't like the downscale, male bonding, beer-swilling phenomena that is being promoted now by (some men's magazines). My whole notion was the romantic connection between male and female.