Evan Esar Quotes

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.