Bill Cosby Quotes

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

There is no job a man can do that is undignified - if he does it well.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices."

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.