Calvin Trillin Quotes

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Health food makes me sick.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

The price of purity is purists.

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

Why in the world are you a Republican?

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.