Best Quotes by Johnny Carson (Top 10)

  1. Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
  2. Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
  3. I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
  4. Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'
  5. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
  6. Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
  7. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
  8. For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
  9. If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
  10. If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

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