Best Quotes by Johnny Carson (Top 10)
-
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Johnny Carson
-
Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
Johnny Carson
-
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Johnny Carson
-
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'
Johnny Carson
-
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
-
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
Johnny Carson
-
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
-
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
-
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson
-
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
More Johnny Carson Quotes
-
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
-
Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!
Johnny Carson
-
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Johnny Carson
-
The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money
Johnny Carson