Judith Martin Quotes

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

Nowadays, we never allow ourselves the convenience of being temporarily unavailable, even to strangers. With telephone and beeper, people subject themselves to being instantly accessible to everyone at all times, and it is the person who refuses to be on call, rather than the importunate caller, who is considered rude.

It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.

When virtues are pointed out first, flaws seem less insurmountable.

We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one's marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can't afford to do anyway are vulgar.

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.