Tom Holt Quotes

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.

Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?

Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour. How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.